What Makes My Kids Cry Today

It had just finished raining on a warm July afternoon.

I was at a kid’s birthday party — the kind where the grass is soaked, water guns are out, and the kids are completely drenched and completely thrilled. You could still smell the rain in the air. Everyone looked a little soggy, but no one seemed to mind.

I ended up standing off to the side, talking with the pastor’s wife. Her husband — we’ll call him Marcus — was away on a mission trip in Minnesota. She had come to the party on her own, and we were just catching up. Talking about life. College. Purpose. The kind of relaxed, easy conversation that doesn’t happen often enough.

At one point, I said without thinking,

“Yeah, Marcus is in Minnesota right now, right?”

Just like that.

Not Pastor Marcus. Just… Marcus.

She didn’t blink. She smiled and replied,

“Yep. He just got there today.”

Simple. Normal. No shift in tone. No awkwardness.

We kept chatting, and I didn’t think twice about it — not in the moment.

But hours later, when I got home, it replayed in my head.

And I suddenly thought:

Was that weird?

Did that sound too casual?

Did I just call the pastor by his first name… to his wife?

When Casual Starts to Feel Questionable

I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful.

It just came out naturally — like I was talking about anyone I know.

But growing up in church culture, I’ve learned that titles matter. And sometimes, dropping one — even by accident — feels like breaking a rule you didn’t know you signed up for.

So there I was, sitting on my couch, wondering if I had crossed a line.

But Her Response Said Everything

She didn’t pause.

She didn’t correct me.

She didn’t even raise an eyebrow.

Because she knows him as Marcus.

Not just Pastor Marcus, but the man who probably forgot to pack something important.

The man who sends texts from gas stations with food pics and dramatic captions.

The one who’s on a mission trip — and very much still a regular person.

She knows all of him.

And for one small moment, I saw him that way too.

What I Took Away from That Moment

Calling him by name didn’t strip away honor.

It revealed connection.

It showed that sometimes, what sounds casual is actually honest.

Pastors are leaders, yes. But they’re also human.

And their spouses? They know that more intimately than anyone.

Maybe the healthiest churches are the ones where we remember that truth.

Final Thought

It was just a moment.

Just a backyard party after the rain.

Kids with water guns.

Two women talking.

And I said the pastor’s name like he was a person — because he is.

And when his wife smiled and said,

“Yep. He just got there today,”

I realized she wasn’t looking for formality.

She was living in real life.

And that’s exactly where I want to live too.

Your Turn:

Have you ever had one of those moments — where you were real, and then later wondered if it was too real? A time when the title dropped and something more human showed up? Share your story in the comments. I’d love to hear it.