By Lizzie – What Makes My Kid Cry Today
Sharing. It’s one of those things we expect our kids to just “get.” We tell them, “Be nice, take turns, don’t fight,” and hope they’ll magically follow along.
But here’s the truth: sharing isn’t natural — it’s a skill. And when you’re an only child raising five boys, like me, the learning curve is steep.
I grew up without siblings. There were no toy battles, no snack wars, no fights over who got the “good spot” on the couch. Fast forward to today, and my house is a constant swirl of noise, movement, and negotiation. Toys, Legos, action figures, and Nerf darts are everywhere.
Some days, it feels like my living room could be the set of a reality TV show titled Survivor: Sibling Edition.
The Chaos of Everyday Sharing
Picture this:
Two of my boys are locked in a heated battle over the same truck.
Another is in tears because someone else got the last cookie.
Meanwhile, a fourth is whining because someone “stole” his favorite seat on the couch.
And somewhere in the background — thwack! — a Nerf dart slams into the wall.
I’m standing there in the middle, wondering, “How am I supposed to teach sharing when I’m still learning it myself?”
That was the moment I realized this wasn’t just about toys or cookies. It was about life lessons — patience, empathy, problem-solving, and grace. And as I teach my boys, I’m being stretched and shaped right alongside them.
Lessons I’ve Learned
Here’s what this journey has taught me (so far):
1. Sharing is Learned, Not Instinctive
Kids aren’t born knowing how to share. It’s something they must be taught through practice and repetition — and a lot of grace.
2. Patience Comes Through Practice
Waiting your turn is hard, especially for little ones.
Timers, visual cues, and calm reminders help my boys understand that their turn will come.
3. Conflict Can Be a Good Thing
Every fight over toys or snacks is an opportunity to teach problem-solving.
Instead of swooping in immediately, I guide them to use words like:
“Can I have a turn next?” “Let’s switch after five minutes.”
It’s messy, but little victories add up over time.
4. My Actions Matter More Than My Words
My boys are always watching me. When I model generosity — whether it’s sharing the last slice of pizza or letting them pick the family movie — they notice.
I have to live what I’m asking them to do.
5. Celebrate the Wins
When one of my boys shares without being asked, I make sure to notice and praise it. Those small moments matter.
Positive reinforcement helps sharing become second nature.
6. Grace for Me, Too
Some days, I lose my cool. I yell. I get frustrated.
And on those days, I have to remind myself: God’s grace is big enough for me and for them.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
I’m not just training my boys — I’m growing right along with them.
Practical Tips for Parents
If you’re knee-deep in sharing struggles, here are a few things that help in our home:
Set Clear Rules Ahead of Time: Everyone knows what to expect. Use Timers: A simple five-minute timer can save a lot of tears. Rotate Favorite Toys: Keeps things fresh and reduces competition. Encourage Teamwork: Build Lego sets together, play cooperative games, or make chores a group effort. Stay Calm: Your tone sets the atmosphere.
Finding Joy in the Mess
Sharing isn’t just about dividing up toys or snacks. It’s about building character — in our kids and in ourselves.
When my boys share, even in small ways, I see glimpses of who they’re becoming: kind, patient, generous young men.
And in those moments, I’m reminded that the chaos, the noise, and yes, even the tears, are worth it.
So the next time your kids fight over a toy, take a deep breath and remember: this is where growth happens.
Final Thought
Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about guiding our kids — and ourselves — one messy, beautiful day at a time.
If you want to hear more stories and encouragement, listen to this full episode of my podcast, What Makes My Kid Cry Today.
Together, let’s laugh, learn, and find grace in the everyday chaos.
What Makes My Kids Cry Today 